Ok, health aside (on meds again, feeling day #2 of feeling better), I remembered long ago when Hubby and I were staying up late one night playing World of Warcraft and was in super crave mode for something sweet. I was thinking pancakes but neither had the pancake mix, and I was too lazy at 2am to make them from scratch. Hubby came up with a brilliant "Mock Pancake" or "Mock French Toast". It's seriously simple and silly.
Take two or more slices of bread, butter them, dash of cinnamon on top for each, slather sticky gooey syrup between each layer and nuke in the microwave for about one minute.
Having one of my lazy moments and wondering what to have for breakfast, it came to mind. Kiddo liked them immediately, "Mommy, can I have more mock pancakes please?" Yeah, I know, healthy eh?
And it even gets better for the rest of the day. What's for dinner? Hot pockets, but the fancy kind. Chicken dijon with bacon and chedder (from the Lean Pockets selection, so sort of kind of maybe in a really upside down realm it is a healthy kind of food in a super processed kind of way).
Both (the mock 'cakes and the hot pockets) are going against the mood I've been going through lately. I've been wanting to do more of what my Bro-In-Law Dan is doing, sustainability from the land. Not to mention, I've been wanting to harvest some acorns to make the acorn meal out of. I just can't wait until kiddo is a little older because I think it would be a great experience for him to get to know the land a bit better.
Oy... there goes my neck again. Meds to the rescue.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Seriously Scarey Head Pains
I woke up at 5:30am with a splitting pain in the back of my head. I was completely wracked with pain thinking that I was having a stroke. I went to bed at 2am with a surfacing sinus pressure headache in the front part of my face. Hours later I thought I would have to be rushed to the ER, it was that painful. I know I have a bulging disk that takes pain to a whole new level, but this was so painful that it was even hard to breathe.
I limped downstairs to grab some ibuprophen and crawled back into bed. Hubby was just waking up to start getting ready for work. He was worried. I was worried. I seriously was this close to packing up kiddo, getting him to grandma's, and heading to the hospital.
Luckily after about forty minutes of excruciating pain, it started to subside. Hubby didn't have to call up work to take off time, we didn't have to rush to the ER and after a few hours sleep, I was 50% better.
I don't like this. I don't like feeling like my brain is going to explode. It's scarey. I go down a very morbid path. I wonder about missing my son growing up. I think about not being with my hubby. All of which terrifies me to no end.
I have one more month till I see the neurosurgeon for analysis. That's one long wait, its been over a month under my belt and one more to go. As my Sister-in-law's husband, a doctor, said to me: No neck surgery. I agree. I just want to know where I stand. Life long meds is my only options? Dude, then med me up. This morning I slipped from being functional to dangerously frightened.
Someone fix me. I used to worry that people would think that I was a hypocondriac (yes, I thought people would think that I was just "making a mountain over a molehill" that I wasn't really sick at all), that I would be rushed to the hospital for every little ache and pain. I guess I'm past that now because my body is rebelling, hardcore. This is not a drill. If this is a test, Lord help me. I am and forever will be on the wings of a prayer... and good health insurance.
I limped downstairs to grab some ibuprophen and crawled back into bed. Hubby was just waking up to start getting ready for work. He was worried. I was worried. I seriously was this close to packing up kiddo, getting him to grandma's, and heading to the hospital.
Luckily after about forty minutes of excruciating pain, it started to subside. Hubby didn't have to call up work to take off time, we didn't have to rush to the ER and after a few hours sleep, I was 50% better.
I don't like this. I don't like feeling like my brain is going to explode. It's scarey. I go down a very morbid path. I wonder about missing my son growing up. I think about not being with my hubby. All of which terrifies me to no end.
I have one more month till I see the neurosurgeon for analysis. That's one long wait, its been over a month under my belt and one more to go. As my Sister-in-law's husband, a doctor, said to me: No neck surgery. I agree. I just want to know where I stand. Life long meds is my only options? Dude, then med me up. This morning I slipped from being functional to dangerously frightened.
Someone fix me. I used to worry that people would think that I was a hypocondriac (yes, I thought people would think that I was just "making a mountain over a molehill" that I wasn't really sick at all), that I would be rushed to the hospital for every little ache and pain. I guess I'm past that now because my body is rebelling, hardcore. This is not a drill. If this is a test, Lord help me. I am and forever will be on the wings of a prayer... and good health insurance.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Lots of Rain, Would Have Been Inspiration For Writing But...
I'm just tired, that's all. I've been listening to a lot of Native American radio the last few days and learning about the issues that effect them. Someone may ask why am I interested? Well, it's good listening. There are a broad range of topics and I just listen to it as I go about doing my daily chores in the house.
Normally when it rains I either have to frames of thought: I want to sleep or I want to write. I think I was somewhere in between of: I'm sleepy with the hopes of trying to write. And, if I don't write when it rains, it makes me want to read.
Guess what. I did pretty much nothing along those lines. I cleaned, I cooked, I yelled at kiddo for not listening. The usual "dry days" routine.
I do have to say tho, late last night in the wee hours of the morning a wonderful, delicously wicked fog rolled in over the land. Across the street we can see the town library and the building was enshrouded with this mist. The outside lights cast this eerie glow and the darkness inside the library was spooky. It was awesome. You'd think that I'd write some lines of a murder mystery or something, it was that inspiring.
Instead, kiddo woke up with a nightmare. Twice. It started to rain late last night and it was perfect for sleeping, not that I'd know. Hubby fell asleep at 8pm (along with kiddo) so by the time I went to bed that's the time when the nightmare's surfaced. Thankfully hubby was more rested than I was to deal with him. I woke up this morning, looked in the mirror and groaned.
"Great. Bloodshot [eyes]." Couldn't have been helped.
So I guess that threw a wrench in the machine for me being my ol' cheery self. Maybe tomorrow I'll get back to writing more, other than the blogging and article writing thing.
Normally when it rains I either have to frames of thought: I want to sleep or I want to write. I think I was somewhere in between of: I'm sleepy with the hopes of trying to write. And, if I don't write when it rains, it makes me want to read.
Guess what. I did pretty much nothing along those lines. I cleaned, I cooked, I yelled at kiddo for not listening. The usual "dry days" routine.
I do have to say tho, late last night in the wee hours of the morning a wonderful, delicously wicked fog rolled in over the land. Across the street we can see the town library and the building was enshrouded with this mist. The outside lights cast this eerie glow and the darkness inside the library was spooky. It was awesome. You'd think that I'd write some lines of a murder mystery or something, it was that inspiring.
Instead, kiddo woke up with a nightmare. Twice. It started to rain late last night and it was perfect for sleeping, not that I'd know. Hubby fell asleep at 8pm (along with kiddo) so by the time I went to bed that's the time when the nightmare's surfaced. Thankfully hubby was more rested than I was to deal with him. I woke up this morning, looked in the mirror and groaned.
"Great. Bloodshot [eyes]." Couldn't have been helped.
So I guess that threw a wrench in the machine for me being my ol' cheery self. Maybe tomorrow I'll get back to writing more, other than the blogging and article writing thing.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Apple Pickin' With the Fam
Sunday was apple picking and we had some really nice autumn weather. Connecticut in autumn is really beautiful, and I told dear hubby that I would love to move there if and when we can afford a house. It reminds me of Wisconsin with its rolling hills and vast expanse of trees, and in fall, it's just so incredibly gorgeous. The foliage is just turning those vibrant colors of red, oranges and yellows against the dark bark of the tree. It's stunning and as I like to say, "Soothes the soul."
Apple picking was just a short 30 minute drive away (I think that was how long it took). We carpooled with Grandma because our family car is still in the shop for repairs and our other second car (a P.O.S.) that really is not safe to drive. Kiddo was 99.9% good on the ride there and we were stopping off a place called Vanilla Bean Cafe for breakfast. Everyone was meeting there as well.
I'm ashamed to say that I ate a very expensive meal. I was excited to see Eggs Benedict on the menu - my ultimate favorite for breakfast - that's all I could say over and over when someone asked me what I was going to eat. The portions at this place aren't the greatest for the price, and I of course slipped into the mode of, "If it'll cost $10 for breakfast, I could use that $10 elsewhere to make a meal for the whole family if I went grocery shopping." That's exactly what happened when I was standing in line and had one person in front of me who was giving their order.
I turned to hubby and said, "I'll just get a bagel. That's cheap, maybe with a cup of tea."
Hubby was adamant that I got what I wanted. I resisted! I wanted to be economical but hubby was determined that I get my favorite.
"If you don't get the Benedict," he said, "you'll ruin the whole day. Get what you want."
We don't go out often, I mean, next to hardly ever. Even tho I was rationalizing against getting the expensive breakfast, I sighed, fought against it, but in the end I just went with it. I ordered it.
I should have done what Grandma did. She had a breakfast before she left her house (smart cookie!) but I didn't get up in time to do that. I woke up 20 minutes before she was going to pick us up (kiddo had a nightmare in the middle of the night and it shot my sleep). I was half asleep when I heard the phone ring downstairs and hubby was talking about the apple picking and whether or not we were going. I yelled, "We're going, I'm up!" and stumbled out of bed to get ready. "But, she'll be here in 20 minutes." hubby said. I came down the stairs and already had my jeans on. "Wow, you're fast." he said. Fast but halfway awake, I thought.
Breakfast was Eggs Benedict, home fries (too salty and spicy, bleh! couldn't eat it) and two wedges of watermellon (really tiny). Even tho it was expensive, the eggs were good... and full of fat and calories and everything that could possibly give my digestion trouble later. Eggs, more eggs with cream (for the hollandaise sauce) and butter can do a number on me. But, my gut is like roulette. Sometimes I make out and I'm perfectly fine the rest of the day. Other times... let's just say keep me near an open window and a lot of fresh air.
Kiddo, on the other hand, was trying my patience. He's a natural born runner and I'm being generous by saying he was good 60-70% of the time while at the Vanilla Bean Cafe.
Bad kiddo: Running like a mad man, jumping on the couches that were in the back of the room, dropping to the ground when you have him by the hand. The running part is what I can't stand. He thinks it's one big game. No matter if I smack his bottom, he'll giggle it off and just pick up running again the chance when let go. Not sure how we can break him of the running without BREAKING him! Sometimes I swear by Odin's Beard!
*Find a happy place, find a happy place* There was a cute moment tho, kiddo was super adorable when his baby cousin showed up. He held her hand and was incredibly gentle. "She's so soft!" he said. She's less than one years old, I believe. It was an awww moment.
Moving to the apple orchard. He had a great time. We had a great time. He and Auntie M. were picking apples along with Cousin D. (who's about one year older than our son who's almost 4) in the lanes of apples. Hubby was getting tons of great pics of everyone. Boys will be boys, both kiddo and cousin had a lot of wrestling in between apple picking. Let them get it out of their system just as long as no one will get hurt (or hurt others).
Towards the end of the apple picking kiddo and cousin were calling each other by name- that was great to see. Kiddo doesn't get a lot of interaction with other kids, and we were hoping to get him into a place like Jamboree Village (or whatever it's called) a few times a week just so that he can get some social skills going. He needs it, he's a really personable kid.
I filled our apple bag up to the rim (for a small "bushel" it cost $11) and I thought that was highway robbery. Not so much when we came home and I weighed it. 11 1/2 lbs of apples for $11. Just a little over $1 a pound. Not bad, but mainly we went for the family experience more than anything.
It was expensive in my book, and next time I'm serving breakfast first for everyone then we go to the Cafe and order l-i-t-e = cheap. Kiddo, for next year, better get that running streak out of him. And maybe by next year by the grace of God and/or winning the lottery, we'll be one step closer to getting our own home.
I do love autumn in New England. The changing of the season- is just so incredible. Add a crisp, cool day with blue skies and bright sun, orange pumpkin patches and tart apples and kids laughing, my little chunk of heaven. And when we came home, I felt a little sad that it was all over.
Apple picking was just a short 30 minute drive away (I think that was how long it took). We carpooled with Grandma because our family car is still in the shop for repairs and our other second car (a P.O.S.) that really is not safe to drive. Kiddo was 99.9% good on the ride there and we were stopping off a place called Vanilla Bean Cafe for breakfast. Everyone was meeting there as well.
I'm ashamed to say that I ate a very expensive meal. I was excited to see Eggs Benedict on the menu - my ultimate favorite for breakfast - that's all I could say over and over when someone asked me what I was going to eat. The portions at this place aren't the greatest for the price, and I of course slipped into the mode of, "If it'll cost $10 for breakfast, I could use that $10 elsewhere to make a meal for the whole family if I went grocery shopping." That's exactly what happened when I was standing in line and had one person in front of me who was giving their order.
I turned to hubby and said, "I'll just get a bagel. That's cheap, maybe with a cup of tea."
Hubby was adamant that I got what I wanted. I resisted! I wanted to be economical but hubby was determined that I get my favorite.
"If you don't get the Benedict," he said, "you'll ruin the whole day. Get what you want."
We don't go out often, I mean, next to hardly ever. Even tho I was rationalizing against getting the expensive breakfast, I sighed, fought against it, but in the end I just went with it. I ordered it.
I should have done what Grandma did. She had a breakfast before she left her house (smart cookie!) but I didn't get up in time to do that. I woke up 20 minutes before she was going to pick us up (kiddo had a nightmare in the middle of the night and it shot my sleep). I was half asleep when I heard the phone ring downstairs and hubby was talking about the apple picking and whether or not we were going. I yelled, "We're going, I'm up!" and stumbled out of bed to get ready. "But, she'll be here in 20 minutes." hubby said. I came down the stairs and already had my jeans on. "Wow, you're fast." he said. Fast but halfway awake, I thought.
Breakfast was Eggs Benedict, home fries (too salty and spicy, bleh! couldn't eat it) and two wedges of watermellon (really tiny). Even tho it was expensive, the eggs were good... and full of fat and calories and everything that could possibly give my digestion trouble later. Eggs, more eggs with cream (for the hollandaise sauce) and butter can do a number on me. But, my gut is like roulette. Sometimes I make out and I'm perfectly fine the rest of the day. Other times... let's just say keep me near an open window and a lot of fresh air.
Kiddo, on the other hand, was trying my patience. He's a natural born runner and I'm being generous by saying he was good 60-70% of the time while at the Vanilla Bean Cafe.
Bad kiddo: Running like a mad man, jumping on the couches that were in the back of the room, dropping to the ground when you have him by the hand. The running part is what I can't stand. He thinks it's one big game. No matter if I smack his bottom, he'll giggle it off and just pick up running again the chance when let go. Not sure how we can break him of the running without BREAKING him! Sometimes I swear by Odin's Beard!
*Find a happy place, find a happy place* There was a cute moment tho, kiddo was super adorable when his baby cousin showed up. He held her hand and was incredibly gentle. "She's so soft!" he said. She's less than one years old, I believe. It was an awww moment.
Moving to the apple orchard. He had a great time. We had a great time. He and Auntie M. were picking apples along with Cousin D. (who's about one year older than our son who's almost 4) in the lanes of apples. Hubby was getting tons of great pics of everyone. Boys will be boys, both kiddo and cousin had a lot of wrestling in between apple picking. Let them get it out of their system just as long as no one will get hurt (or hurt others).
Towards the end of the apple picking kiddo and cousin were calling each other by name- that was great to see. Kiddo doesn't get a lot of interaction with other kids, and we were hoping to get him into a place like Jamboree Village (or whatever it's called) a few times a week just so that he can get some social skills going. He needs it, he's a really personable kid.
I filled our apple bag up to the rim (for a small "bushel" it cost $11) and I thought that was highway robbery. Not so much when we came home and I weighed it. 11 1/2 lbs of apples for $11. Just a little over $1 a pound. Not bad, but mainly we went for the family experience more than anything.
It was expensive in my book, and next time I'm serving breakfast first for everyone then we go to the Cafe and order l-i-t-e = cheap. Kiddo, for next year, better get that running streak out of him. And maybe by next year by the grace of God and/or winning the lottery, we'll be one step closer to getting our own home.
I do love autumn in New England. The changing of the season- is just so incredible. Add a crisp, cool day with blue skies and bright sun, orange pumpkin patches and tart apples and kids laughing, my little chunk of heaven. And when we came home, I felt a little sad that it was all over.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Noodles,
Growing up in the northwest part of Chicago, my Polish roots were very satisfied when it came to food. There were a handful of Polish restaraunts that were always on our weekly or biweekly dinner excursions. There are a good number of favorites, but one in particular always made it to my plate: Kluski Casserole (Chicken livers with noodles)
I've varied it a bit, but last night I think I nailed a very good variation of it.
Mock Kluski Casserole (Ground Beef with Noodles):
In a separate pot, bring water to boil and add a pinch of salt. Add the rotini pasta and cook according to instructions on the box. Optional: add a smidge of chicken boullion (or powder) to the cooking noodles to enfuse extra flavoring into the pasta. I used very little and it seemed to do the trick.
Back to the meat/onions: Season the cooking meat and onions with salt, pepper, onion powder and garlic powder. Add the green beans. Cook until meat is browned nicely in the frying pan. Drain the fat from the pan and disgard (I use a paper towel to soak up all the grease).
Once the pasta is cooked, drain and add to the meat and onion mixture. Add a bit more onion power and garlic powder. Finish the dish with 1-2 TB of butter and serve.
(Tastes just like it comes from the White Eagle Restaurant on Milwakee Ave. I will forever love this dish, and not living in Chicago anymore it's good to have a taste of my hometown close at hand if I ever long for it ). YUM.
I've varied it a bit, but last night I think I nailed a very good variation of it.
Mock Kluski Casserole (Ground Beef with Noodles):
- Ground Beef Patties (3 in total)
- 1/2 white onion, sliced fine
- 1/2 can green beans
- olive oil
- 1-2 Tb butter
- garlic powder
- onion powder
- salt and pepper
- 1/2 box of Rotini Pasta (whole wheat is wonderful in this dish)
- optional: chicken seasoned boullion (I have the non MSG, powder form)
In a separate pot, bring water to boil and add a pinch of salt. Add the rotini pasta and cook according to instructions on the box. Optional: add a smidge of chicken boullion (or powder) to the cooking noodles to enfuse extra flavoring into the pasta. I used very little and it seemed to do the trick.
Back to the meat/onions: Season the cooking meat and onions with salt, pepper, onion powder and garlic powder. Add the green beans. Cook until meat is browned nicely in the frying pan. Drain the fat from the pan and disgard (I use a paper towel to soak up all the grease).
Once the pasta is cooked, drain and add to the meat and onion mixture. Add a bit more onion power and garlic powder. Finish the dish with 1-2 TB of butter and serve.
(Tastes just like it comes from the White Eagle Restaurant on Milwakee Ave. I will forever love this dish, and not living in Chicago anymore it's good to have a taste of my hometown close at hand if I ever long for it ). YUM.
Bribery
This is definitely a Mommy Quest for sure. For the longest time Junior has whole heartedly refused to be potty trained. We've bought one potty, inherited a relative's plastic one (in excellent and brand new condition) and one that slips over a regular toilet for the seat. We've bought a kid's training book that even has a flushing toilet sound bit on it in hopes of making going "like a big boy" on the potty more fun.
Me: "Want to go on the potty?"
Kiddo: "Nope!"
[He then promptly runs away screaming like it's a game].
In short, he just has zero interest.
Until now.
Bribery. Bribery is the only way I see working at the moment, but if we aren't careful it's going to get pricey. How are we bribing? Hot Wheel Cars. My Mom who lives wayyyy over in Wisconsin sent a box of goodies for the family, and one small box of precious bribing material of toy cars. Kiddo saw them (doh! he found them, I was trying to keep them hidden!) and wanted to open them up.
Me: "No, no, no. These are rewards for when you go pee-pee and poo-poo on the potty."
I nearly fell over when he ran to the potty and lifted the lid and sat down. *JAW DROPS* What is this? Do I have a viable bribery here? Is he seriously interested in using the training toliet?!? OMG, I thought, THIS IS THE MOMENT I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR! *wipes tear away* Oh, it's been a long road for sure, to get to this point. Of course he still needs to know in advance that he 'has to go' and not sit on the toilet AFTER he just went in his diaper. That's the trick to this all. No potty, no car toy.
But, this is only day #2 in the adventure of some serious potty training. I've seen him run to the toilet more in the last two days than he has in the last 8 months. No joke. I've put the box of brand new car toys on top of our t.v. set with the words "Potty Rewards" writen on it. He sees it and keeps asking for a toy, but now he knows very well when he's going to get them.
I've gotten advice from a good amount of people on this subject, and I'm one of those easy going kind of Moms when it comes to this issue. He's not going to be in diapers forever, one day he'll get it. I do give kudos to parents who were able to get their kid trained quickly, but their smug pride about it is rather rude. "I've gotten my toddler trained in two days and they were only two years old." If I hear that inflection one more time, I swear...
I have entertained the idea of having junior run around butt naked over at Grandma/Grandpa's house with only a loincloth on and let him go eu naturale. An aquaintance mentioned that they did away with diapers one day and had towels at the ready (I did this. I don't recommend it. Pee everywhere, it's a messy tactic. DON'T DO IT!)
Kids are the ones who basically will let the parent know when they are ready. Junior here is getting close. I think the bribery thing may work, but it's still a work in progress.
Remember [aside to kiddo]: "Don't stand in the potty. That's were all the yuck-yuck goes. If you stand in that, it would be just gross!" Thank God the potty was empty!
Me: "Want to go on the potty?"
Kiddo: "Nope!"
[He then promptly runs away screaming like it's a game].
In short, he just has zero interest.
Until now.
Bribery. Bribery is the only way I see working at the moment, but if we aren't careful it's going to get pricey. How are we bribing? Hot Wheel Cars. My Mom who lives wayyyy over in Wisconsin sent a box of goodies for the family, and one small box of precious bribing material of toy cars. Kiddo saw them (doh! he found them, I was trying to keep them hidden!) and wanted to open them up.
Me: "No, no, no. These are rewards for when you go pee-pee and poo-poo on the potty."
I nearly fell over when he ran to the potty and lifted the lid and sat down. *JAW DROPS* What is this? Do I have a viable bribery here? Is he seriously interested in using the training toliet?!? OMG, I thought, THIS IS THE MOMENT I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR! *wipes tear away* Oh, it's been a long road for sure, to get to this point. Of course he still needs to know in advance that he 'has to go' and not sit on the toilet AFTER he just went in his diaper. That's the trick to this all. No potty, no car toy.
But, this is only day #2 in the adventure of some serious potty training. I've seen him run to the toilet more in the last two days than he has in the last 8 months. No joke. I've put the box of brand new car toys on top of our t.v. set with the words "Potty Rewards" writen on it. He sees it and keeps asking for a toy, but now he knows very well when he's going to get them.
I've gotten advice from a good amount of people on this subject, and I'm one of those easy going kind of Moms when it comes to this issue. He's not going to be in diapers forever, one day he'll get it. I do give kudos to parents who were able to get their kid trained quickly, but their smug pride about it is rather rude. "I've gotten my toddler trained in two days and they were only two years old." If I hear that inflection one more time, I swear...
I have entertained the idea of having junior run around butt naked over at Grandma/Grandpa's house with only a loincloth on and let him go eu naturale. An aquaintance mentioned that they did away with diapers one day and had towels at the ready (I did this. I don't recommend it. Pee everywhere, it's a messy tactic. DON'T DO IT!)
Kids are the ones who basically will let the parent know when they are ready. Junior here is getting close. I think the bribery thing may work, but it's still a work in progress.
Remember [aside to kiddo]: "Don't stand in the potty. That's were all the yuck-yuck goes. If you stand in that, it would be just gross!" Thank God the potty was empty!
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Making Fry Bread
Not in the sense that I actually made it. It was in my dream, but it was no ordinary dream (as most dreams I remember usually aren't- ask hubby). I was reading a few articles from my Bro-In-Law on another networking site and I think some it stuck when I went to bed. That and I rewatched making fry bread with the lady from the Ojibwe tribe that posted a video on Youtube.
I found myself - in the dream - grabbing a ton of flour, salt, baking powder and mixing it in a bowl. I did the unheard of and cleared out our oven to use. Backstory in real life: our oven is never used. Why? We have super SUPER sensitive fire alarms in the kitchen and the numbnuts who thought it was a good idea to put the main heat sensor for the grounded alarms in the kitchen placed it about a foot away from a heat source on the ceiling. Hence open the oven door for juuuuust too long and WHAM! EEH! EEEH! EEEH! EEEH! (alarm sounds that can bust an eardrum, I'm sure my deafness is enhanced because of them). So, ever since our oven has remained a storage area for all our pots and pans respectively.
But in the dream I cleared the oven out of all the clutter and cranked it on. I started to make dough balls, sectioning off and measuring what was going to be used for what. I brought out my marble rolling pin and began rolling out sizes of tortillas, pita bread and fry bread (but in the dream everything was baked).
At one point our small galley kitchen (I'm not kidding, it's the size of a closet) filled with women from the fry bread video and more. We laughed and got our hands messy from mixing and patting out dough, and talking about fry bread. It was really that old school, tribal kind of feel- you know, where all the women gather around and just cook and do stuff together. If I could put a feeling along with that image in my mind, it's a good kind of thing.
What was really cool about this dream was that the ladies were talking about their traditions and stories that were passed down from generation to generation. Sadly, I can't remember any of them, but I remember in the dream that I kneaded away while listening enthralled by what they were telling me. It was so cool, it was so natural in the dream to be hanging out and chatting away with the women tribal members.
"Got enough dough there? You have enough to feed the whole tribe."
My response, "I hope so!"
I think I'm going to make fry bread soon. Have a cast iron pan that I want to break in, and fry bread would be a great inception into the oil world of fried foods.
And on another level, I miss going to PowWows that I used to go to as a teenager. When Mom, Dad and I packed up for the family vacation for Wisconsin, it was always perfect timing that a Pow Wow from one of the tribes was going on. I dragged Mom and Dad to any and all of them that I could get my hands on. All of them were great experiences, where I sat down to chat with people and ate some really cool stuff (my first taste of venison, if I remember correctly).
I mourn the time when I got rid of virtually everything I had bought from the Pow Wow's and my visits to Wisconsin because I was trying to downsize the clutter I had in my life. Worst mistake ever. I'm just going to have to get the things I lost all over again, from baskets, shawls, jewelry, feather fans and beaded moccasins. Believe me when I say this, I had a lot of awesome stuff. I just wish that we could take a trip to Wisconsin now and again with hubby and son (my folks are there too) but the economy in our lives wont allow it. Not yet anyway.
Rhode Island is very much like Wisconsin in many respects, so at certain bends in the road I feel closer to the things that I have come to know and love because they are very familiar. It's very much a comfort.
I guess you can say I'm feeling very tribal for the day. Thanks to the dream and the mood of the day, I have a feeling this is going to be a good day.
I found myself - in the dream - grabbing a ton of flour, salt, baking powder and mixing it in a bowl. I did the unheard of and cleared out our oven to use. Backstory in real life: our oven is never used. Why? We have super SUPER sensitive fire alarms in the kitchen and the numbnuts who thought it was a good idea to put the main heat sensor for the grounded alarms in the kitchen placed it about a foot away from a heat source on the ceiling. Hence open the oven door for juuuuust too long and WHAM! EEH! EEEH! EEEH! EEEH! (alarm sounds that can bust an eardrum, I'm sure my deafness is enhanced because of them). So, ever since our oven has remained a storage area for all our pots and pans respectively.
But in the dream I cleared the oven out of all the clutter and cranked it on. I started to make dough balls, sectioning off and measuring what was going to be used for what. I brought out my marble rolling pin and began rolling out sizes of tortillas, pita bread and fry bread (but in the dream everything was baked).
At one point our small galley kitchen (I'm not kidding, it's the size of a closet) filled with women from the fry bread video and more. We laughed and got our hands messy from mixing and patting out dough, and talking about fry bread. It was really that old school, tribal kind of feel- you know, where all the women gather around and just cook and do stuff together. If I could put a feeling along with that image in my mind, it's a good kind of thing.
What was really cool about this dream was that the ladies were talking about their traditions and stories that were passed down from generation to generation. Sadly, I can't remember any of them, but I remember in the dream that I kneaded away while listening enthralled by what they were telling me. It was so cool, it was so natural in the dream to be hanging out and chatting away with the women tribal members.
"Got enough dough there? You have enough to feed the whole tribe."
My response, "I hope so!"
I think I'm going to make fry bread soon. Have a cast iron pan that I want to break in, and fry bread would be a great inception into the oil world of fried foods.
And on another level, I miss going to PowWows that I used to go to as a teenager. When Mom, Dad and I packed up for the family vacation for Wisconsin, it was always perfect timing that a Pow Wow from one of the tribes was going on. I dragged Mom and Dad to any and all of them that I could get my hands on. All of them were great experiences, where I sat down to chat with people and ate some really cool stuff (my first taste of venison, if I remember correctly).
I mourn the time when I got rid of virtually everything I had bought from the Pow Wow's and my visits to Wisconsin because I was trying to downsize the clutter I had in my life. Worst mistake ever. I'm just going to have to get the things I lost all over again, from baskets, shawls, jewelry, feather fans and beaded moccasins. Believe me when I say this, I had a lot of awesome stuff. I just wish that we could take a trip to Wisconsin now and again with hubby and son (my folks are there too) but the economy in our lives wont allow it. Not yet anyway.
Rhode Island is very much like Wisconsin in many respects, so at certain bends in the road I feel closer to the things that I have come to know and love because they are very familiar. It's very much a comfort.
I guess you can say I'm feeling very tribal for the day. Thanks to the dream and the mood of the day, I have a feeling this is going to be a good day.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Seriously Stalling, and Being Totally Productive Otherwise
I've completely stalled out for writing an article. Luckily it was due in three days so I of course, used every waking moment to putter around it. I've cooked, cleaned, done laundry, played with kiddo both on his computer and Play Dough sessions, sewn the holes in a few shirts for repairs, watched Twilight: Eclipse, read some of the book I'm currently reading, yelled at kiddo for having a conniption over his computer, gave him a bath- junior not the computer, lol- (which he took a bucket of water and got me soaking wet, was so not happy on that one, but I was more calm than I expected)...
and squeezed out maybe 100 words for the article.
I'm stalling. Ironically stalling for the article has kicked up some good ideas for the novel I'm trying to write. I brushed off the virtual dust and picked up where I left off. Tho, it was short lived. I felt the guilt of not writing the article in it's place, a.k.a. being responsible. I had some really good ideas and I knew my muse was there with me waiting for me to continue writing the novel, but I really needed to focus on that listless article instead. So, like a good little cubby I jotted down my ideas and went back to the thing that I was puttering over.
I then proceeded stared at the screen for about 20 min and then websurfed.
Oh, this was the topper: at midnight my computer monitor flatlined. Literally. I thought an alien species had hijacked my computer because all went blank to a pitch black screen with one thin streak of light from left to right of the monitor. Hubby was pulling a double shift at work, and when he got home he saw it and immediately knew what it was. The veritcal thingie inside the monitor was shot. No way of fixing it.
I had a "OMG-I-WON'T-BE-CONNECTED-TO-MY-COMPUTER" moment. Well, wouldn't be able to see my computer moment, but the same effect is implied.
Hubby, God bless!, hooked up his monitor to mine and we're going to look for a new monitor for me later. Sigh of relief. Good thing too. That article is due in 12 hrs and I need to finish it. And am I? No. I'm blogging atm. Another stalling tactic.
Oh dear, it's lunchtime. Maybe I'll make some grilled cheese sandwiches for kiddo and myself...
Stall... stall... stall... BLEH!
and squeezed out maybe 100 words for the article.
I'm stalling. Ironically stalling for the article has kicked up some good ideas for the novel I'm trying to write. I brushed off the virtual dust and picked up where I left off. Tho, it was short lived. I felt the guilt of not writing the article in it's place, a.k.a. being responsible. I had some really good ideas and I knew my muse was there with me waiting for me to continue writing the novel, but I really needed to focus on that listless article instead. So, like a good little cubby I jotted down my ideas and went back to the thing that I was puttering over.
I then proceeded stared at the screen for about 20 min and then websurfed.
Oh, this was the topper: at midnight my computer monitor flatlined. Literally. I thought an alien species had hijacked my computer because all went blank to a pitch black screen with one thin streak of light from left to right of the monitor. Hubby was pulling a double shift at work, and when he got home he saw it and immediately knew what it was. The veritcal thingie inside the monitor was shot. No way of fixing it.
I had a "OMG-I-WON'T-BE-CONNECTED-TO-MY-COMPUTER" moment. Well, wouldn't be able to see my computer moment, but the same effect is implied.
Hubby, God bless!, hooked up his monitor to mine and we're going to look for a new monitor for me later. Sigh of relief. Good thing too. That article is due in 12 hrs and I need to finish it. And am I? No. I'm blogging atm. Another stalling tactic.
Oh dear, it's lunchtime. Maybe I'll make some grilled cheese sandwiches for kiddo and myself...
Stall... stall... stall... BLEH!
Monday, September 13, 2010
Bean Burgers
Thanks to the idea of Bro-In-Law Dan of using chili beans (Grandma mentioned it), I morphed my bean burger recipe (from a friend's Mom). Morphing was minimal since the chili beans were already seasoned. Turned out delicious.
Bean Burgers:
Mash beans, add drained green chilies, seasoning, beaten egg and breadcrumbs. If mixture is really wet, add more breadcrumbs to absorb the moisture. Form patties and 'pat' patty in cornmeal on both sides to coat outside to make a great crust. In a frying pan heat up oil until hot and pan fry each side of the bean burgers until nicely browned. Keep in mind bean burgers are really fragile (or at least mine were) and can crumble apart with handling. Add condiments as you would with a bun or slice of bread to complete the dish.
Really easy to make and this is a great way to get protein in the diet and is super tasty. Way better than the cardboard veggie burgers in the frozen section of the market.
Bean Burgers:
- 1 can of (I used chili) beans, drained
- 1 small can of green chilies, drained and chopped
- cumin, garlic powder, onion powder to taste
- 1 egg, beaten
- 1 C or more (panko) breadcrumbs
- Cornmeal for rolling bean burger patty in
- Olive oil for frying
- Bread and condiments as used with meat burgers
Mash beans, add drained green chilies, seasoning, beaten egg and breadcrumbs. If mixture is really wet, add more breadcrumbs to absorb the moisture. Form patties and 'pat' patty in cornmeal on both sides to coat outside to make a great crust. In a frying pan heat up oil until hot and pan fry each side of the bean burgers until nicely browned. Keep in mind bean burgers are really fragile (or at least mine were) and can crumble apart with handling. Add condiments as you would with a bun or slice of bread to complete the dish.
Really easy to make and this is a great way to get protein in the diet and is super tasty. Way better than the cardboard veggie burgers in the frozen section of the market.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Days Without Warcraft... Good Thing
I logged in after a few days absence from the computer and gaming. Been out of the house a majority of the time while hubby and kiddo remained at home. Had some golden opportunities for shopping- I know it sounds like such a girly thing to say, but I don't like shopping the way other women like shopping.
When there's a sale on shoes or some big department store fashion bonanza, you'd have to use emergency operation paddles on me to get me interested in it. I really have to summon some energy to pretend I find it fun. Let's just say, I'd rather be shopping at Home Depot, m'kay?
Anyways, I don't do the normal 'girlie' shopping. Maybe that's a good thing. I retired my banker suit jacket until further notice (don't make me go back there!) Life was like a stage, I could act the part of being a professional, but at this point in life I don't like cubicles very much. So until I'm raking in 5+ figures and have to stand in front of board meetings discussing a company's profit margin, I'll pass on the high heels, nylons and everything else that the persona comes with.
So, after days of not plugging into the computer for some WoW time, I found myself having a few "Mommy Moments" of going shopping by myself. Not having to drag/discipline a kicking, flailing, screaming, crying kid out of the store and getting ZERO shopping done...it was priceless. When I heard other parent's kids screaming, crying in the store, I paused, smiled, took a deep breath and mentally whispered, "Wootsauce. That's at home right now."
And I meanderd through my ultimate favorite store, Job Lot. Found some nice wood crafting tools (I had a hinkering for whittling), journal making material, and of course, some odds and ends kind of food. Easily you can slip into a time warp in that store. You go in for one thing and hours later you walk out with more stuff you didn't even think you needed.
Thanks to Wow being a total turn off at the moment (I've been delving deep into my virtual pockets and vault to sell years of accumulated virtual crap), that I'm only logging in to clean house. I'd rather be doing things in real life, and when I hear the trade chat flare up about some stupid comment, I just can't handle it anymore. I'm at that middle point: good enough not to care about the noob junk that happens, but not quite good enough to get into the uber top raiding groups who are taking down the Lich King. That lands me in the cushy zone of a place I like to call... "Meh."
Because "Meh" is populated by myself and hubby (oh yes, he's there too), it is hard to find us. You see, we're not really in Wow but in a sub-realm only known to us. It is a lovely place where birds are chirping, the sun is shining and all buildings are in a color of "Who gives a sh--". Virtual gold isn't real... kind of like the paper dollar in real life (omg, the similarities...an economy inflated by unknown sources pulling the strings of what is valuable and what is not as the populace goes nuts trying to get the new 'it' product? That's scary!) You'll find us in "Meh" Ville especially when we're in a group and have to argue with hormonal 12 year olds who think they're running the show like a God. Oh, yeah, that's right. That's why I'm not eager to get back to THAT again.
Other people in the game that we know have gone M.I.A. due to life. It's a pretty good reason, too. Having kiddo see Mommy and Daddy not on the computer 24/7, that is my goal. I'd like to devote some time to crafting, but honestly if my writing muse is paying me a visit, I best be a good host and let her in. It feels good to write as well, oh this toil of written language!
And here is the kicker: There's some sort of satisfaction knowing that I WASN'T on Warcraft the whole day. My own personal goal, actually. Seems a lot easier and natural to cold turkey it when you really don't care anymore.
One thing is for sure, I get a hellava lot more done when I'm not tethered at the hip and arguing about why someone rolled NEED on a loot item (damn ninjas). Case and point, we're dabbling in indoor gardening for our apartment dwelling. Just have to keep the cat in mind so we don't plant harmful things that could complicate matters more (tomatoes are a no-no). Our cat doesn't need any more challenges at the moment, now that we know he's got a bad heart. No, definitely don't need anymore challenges on that front.
So, the score:
Life 1
Warcraft 0
I've never been so happy to see a 0 in all my life.
When there's a sale on shoes or some big department store fashion bonanza, you'd have to use emergency operation paddles on me to get me interested in it. I really have to summon some energy to pretend I find it fun. Let's just say, I'd rather be shopping at Home Depot, m'kay?
Anyways, I don't do the normal 'girlie' shopping. Maybe that's a good thing. I retired my banker suit jacket until further notice (don't make me go back there!) Life was like a stage, I could act the part of being a professional, but at this point in life I don't like cubicles very much. So until I'm raking in 5+ figures and have to stand in front of board meetings discussing a company's profit margin, I'll pass on the high heels, nylons and everything else that the persona comes with.
So, after days of not plugging into the computer for some WoW time, I found myself having a few "Mommy Moments" of going shopping by myself. Not having to drag/discipline a kicking, flailing, screaming, crying kid out of the store and getting ZERO shopping done...it was priceless. When I heard other parent's kids screaming, crying in the store, I paused, smiled, took a deep breath and mentally whispered, "Wootsauce. That's at home right now."
And I meanderd through my ultimate favorite store, Job Lot. Found some nice wood crafting tools (I had a hinkering for whittling), journal making material, and of course, some odds and ends kind of food. Easily you can slip into a time warp in that store. You go in for one thing and hours later you walk out with more stuff you didn't even think you needed.
Thanks to Wow being a total turn off at the moment (I've been delving deep into my virtual pockets and vault to sell years of accumulated virtual crap), that I'm only logging in to clean house. I'd rather be doing things in real life, and when I hear the trade chat flare up about some stupid comment, I just can't handle it anymore. I'm at that middle point: good enough not to care about the noob junk that happens, but not quite good enough to get into the uber top raiding groups who are taking down the Lich King. That lands me in the cushy zone of a place I like to call... "Meh."
Because "Meh" is populated by myself and hubby (oh yes, he's there too), it is hard to find us. You see, we're not really in Wow but in a sub-realm only known to us. It is a lovely place where birds are chirping, the sun is shining and all buildings are in a color of "Who gives a sh--". Virtual gold isn't real... kind of like the paper dollar in real life (omg, the similarities...an economy inflated by unknown sources pulling the strings of what is valuable and what is not as the populace goes nuts trying to get the new 'it' product? That's scary!) You'll find us in "Meh" Ville especially when we're in a group and have to argue with hormonal 12 year olds who think they're running the show like a God. Oh, yeah, that's right. That's why I'm not eager to get back to THAT again.
Other people in the game that we know have gone M.I.A. due to life. It's a pretty good reason, too. Having kiddo see Mommy and Daddy not on the computer 24/7, that is my goal. I'd like to devote some time to crafting, but honestly if my writing muse is paying me a visit, I best be a good host and let her in. It feels good to write as well, oh this toil of written language!
And here is the kicker: There's some sort of satisfaction knowing that I WASN'T on Warcraft the whole day. My own personal goal, actually. Seems a lot easier and natural to cold turkey it when you really don't care anymore.
One thing is for sure, I get a hellava lot more done when I'm not tethered at the hip and arguing about why someone rolled NEED on a loot item (damn ninjas). Case and point, we're dabbling in indoor gardening for our apartment dwelling. Just have to keep the cat in mind so we don't plant harmful things that could complicate matters more (tomatoes are a no-no). Our cat doesn't need any more challenges at the moment, now that we know he's got a bad heart. No, definitely don't need anymore challenges on that front.
So, the score:
Life 1
Warcraft 0
I've never been so happy to see a 0 in all my life.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Dr's Verdict Is In
Well, just got the test results back from my MRI scan and thank God it's not a tumor. I have a bulging disc. The doctor explained that the tingling in my hands, neck and face are due to the nerves getting pinched as the bulging disc flares up. I'm going to get in contact with a neurosurgeon and hopefully it'll just be some meds and physical therapy or what have you. Worse case scenario is having to have surgery. Hopefully it won't get to that point.
It's such a relief to know that I wasn't going crazy. With every ache and pain I've feared that people would look at me and say, "Oh, she's just making it up. It's nothing really. It's just... stress." Trust me, I've already heard that line from a few doctors, and each have sent me away with a "Happy Pill" to relieve some stress that I wanted to laugh at. I'm a stay at home Mom, and yes sometimes kiddo can get the better of me, my life is relatively... boring. I'm serious. I'm not stressed at all, and felt pretty blessed in the little life we've carved out for ourselves. So when some stranger, a doctor, tells me with the pat of my hand that this is all due to stress... I want to laugh (but I don't want to be rude, so I laugh when I'm not in front of them).
Kudos to my doc. She's really on the ball. So by the tone of her voice, all of this has put me at ease. I can't totally forget that I have neck pain, but some days are better than the rest. When I have 10% pain I'm on top of the world, and gotta "Go, go, go!" because I don't know when my moment of bliss will end.
Cook, clean, cook some more. Write, fold laundry, blog, go out for errands. Be functional.
So when I'm having an episode, I now know it's not going to kill me. Yay, right? I wanna live damnit. Got too many things I want to do, so this is a wake up call to get crackin'.
Grandma stopped over today. Always a pleasure to see her. Kiddo liked tackling her, which, /sigh, he sure knows how to rough house. Talked about this and that, farming, food and the like.
Oh, and Gnomer and Sen'jin events in WoW. Loads of fun ... if people didn't glitch it. Kept me going today, it was kind of exciting (which really I haven't been too thrilled with the game lately, so it was a nice surprise).
Writers Group meeting is tomorrow (... looks at time... er, today, I mean) and I don't have anything to bring with me. Maybe I can scrounge up some poetry. Poetry seems to be a good thing if you don't want your work ripped apart lol. I get a bit touchy over people being... touchy over what I write.
Time to log off and go to sleep. Maybe I can find some energy later in the day to do some projects. Food projects ;)
It's such a relief to know that I wasn't going crazy. With every ache and pain I've feared that people would look at me and say, "Oh, she's just making it up. It's nothing really. It's just... stress." Trust me, I've already heard that line from a few doctors, and each have sent me away with a "Happy Pill" to relieve some stress that I wanted to laugh at. I'm a stay at home Mom, and yes sometimes kiddo can get the better of me, my life is relatively... boring. I'm serious. I'm not stressed at all, and felt pretty blessed in the little life we've carved out for ourselves. So when some stranger, a doctor, tells me with the pat of my hand that this is all due to stress... I want to laugh (but I don't want to be rude, so I laugh when I'm not in front of them).
Kudos to my doc. She's really on the ball. So by the tone of her voice, all of this has put me at ease. I can't totally forget that I have neck pain, but some days are better than the rest. When I have 10% pain I'm on top of the world, and gotta "Go, go, go!" because I don't know when my moment of bliss will end.
Cook, clean, cook some more. Write, fold laundry, blog, go out for errands. Be functional.
So when I'm having an episode, I now know it's not going to kill me. Yay, right? I wanna live damnit. Got too many things I want to do, so this is a wake up call to get crackin'.
Grandma stopped over today. Always a pleasure to see her. Kiddo liked tackling her, which, /sigh, he sure knows how to rough house. Talked about this and that, farming, food and the like.
Oh, and Gnomer and Sen'jin events in WoW. Loads of fun ... if people didn't glitch it. Kept me going today, it was kind of exciting (which really I haven't been too thrilled with the game lately, so it was a nice surprise).
Writers Group meeting is tomorrow (... looks at time... er, today, I mean) and I don't have anything to bring with me. Maybe I can scrounge up some poetry. Poetry seems to be a good thing if you don't want your work ripped apart lol. I get a bit touchy over people being... touchy over what I write.
Time to log off and go to sleep. Maybe I can find some energy later in the day to do some projects. Food projects ;)
Monday, September 6, 2010
Labor Day and Visits
Had a treat today when we got a call from Grandma saying she and Grandpa were in the neighborhood by the waterfall (we live in a scenic area near a waterfall, really quite beautiful). Well, of course I wanted to go see them. They're like my adopted Mom and Dad (and there are a lot of people who feel the same way about them too).
So, we got ourselves ready for our little walk. We even caught a glimpse at our old aparment house across the street as it was being worked on. WOAH! The hallway got totally redesigned! The fire must have gutted most of the first floor hallway, or close to it because doorways had changed from the old. Just wow. I would have loved to pop my head inside and take a took at the place.
The walk was nice, Grandpa caught a small kiver fish. Had to throw it back but we got a nice photo of it with the camera phone.
I think they liked to see him, I know we enjoyed seeing them. Always a treat in my book. Of course kiddo hammed it up, "Grandma hold me!" aka let me squirm in your arms so I can run free when I wiggle enough.
She got a kick out of it. She even took a walk to the newly renovated playground and yay! they've enclosed it with a fence! We've always wanted this because kiddo is a runner. He will bolt, take off and won't stop. He thinks it's one big game if we go chasing after him. Chase, and he's yucking it up, don't chase him and he gets hit by a car in the street. Either way, we have to be quick - but with an enclosed fence playground... super yay!
Grandma and Grandpa in my opinion, are great role models. I hope to carry out a life similar to theirs, where they have great kids, work ethics and a close knit family. (And, according to Grandma, hubby was just like kiddo. Can anyone say karma?) lol.
So, we got ourselves ready for our little walk. We even caught a glimpse at our old aparment house across the street as it was being worked on. WOAH! The hallway got totally redesigned! The fire must have gutted most of the first floor hallway, or close to it because doorways had changed from the old. Just wow. I would have loved to pop my head inside and take a took at the place.
The walk was nice, Grandpa caught a small kiver fish. Had to throw it back but we got a nice photo of it with the camera phone.
I think they liked to see him, I know we enjoyed seeing them. Always a treat in my book. Of course kiddo hammed it up, "Grandma hold me!" aka let me squirm in your arms so I can run free when I wiggle enough.
She got a kick out of it. She even took a walk to the newly renovated playground and yay! they've enclosed it with a fence! We've always wanted this because kiddo is a runner. He will bolt, take off and won't stop. He thinks it's one big game if we go chasing after him. Chase, and he's yucking it up, don't chase him and he gets hit by a car in the street. Either way, we have to be quick - but with an enclosed fence playground... super yay!
Grandma and Grandpa in my opinion, are great role models. I hope to carry out a life similar to theirs, where they have great kids, work ethics and a close knit family. (And, according to Grandma, hubby was just like kiddo. Can anyone say karma?) lol.
Sick... again
I hate being sick, I really do. This head pain in my shoulders, neck and base of the skull is both worrying and a pain in the butt. Whatever is going on, I don't like it. I feel sick, nauseous, numb in my hands, tingly in my face. I'm shivering because I feel super cold. I hope we get the results of the MRI soon and get some ANSWERS. I really can't stand being laid up on the couch while life is passing me by.
Self wallowing is not my thing. But complaining is.
To know that I'm on meds to make my day semi-functional, man that is sucky. And you know when something doesn't feel right inside, well, I've been like that for over a month now.
To be on the computer, that tells you I'm feeling somewhat good at the moment.
Later, my neck may be killing me with tension and I'm going to have to camp on the couch. Suck'ville.
And today is one of those crisp fall days that brings memories flooding back to me from this time. Having those great driving trips my family would do, riding in the suburbs or heading over the border to visit Wisconsin (which really is a lot like New England, in retrospect). Picking pumpkins or apples after taking a lovely breakfast at a roadside coffee shop (oh, it is so lovely!). Playing WoW as the seasons change somehow makes the game even better, I don't know why. And lastly, the time I packed up all my belonging in the Uhaul truck with boyfriend soon to be hubby from Chicago to drive cross county to my new home.
I don't want to be sick and look back and go, "Yeah, that was the time I had a tumor in my spine..." or whatever. I just want to go back to functional. Does that mean I have to live my life according to a prescription bottle? I'd rather not, but if I have to, so be it.
I want to live a good, healthy life with my husband, son and family. Yes, that includes having the cat in there too. The only good out of being sick has been this: it has completely upped my appreciation, love and gratitude towards those I love. I always felt blessed but having to depend on someone makes it even more so. That's why I've had a new found awakening towards people and being more sensitive to people's pains. We all need to take care of each other. We are one Tribe.
When I really feel crappy, I lay on the "I love you" 's a lot. I've always said the L word freely and meant it, so it's not that big of a step to articulate it more.
And a side note: I really wish my folks lived closer. I miss them terribly and all the craziness they wove around themselves as their own brand of 'normal'. I know they miss me and to have a Grandson they can't physically see, they need to get their butts out here. Pronto.
It's amazing what an illiness can do to a person. If this God's way of making me get it, I get it. I really do. Can we move on now? lol, like move on in a good kind of way?
Self wallowing is not my thing. But complaining is.
To know that I'm on meds to make my day semi-functional, man that is sucky. And you know when something doesn't feel right inside, well, I've been like that for over a month now.
To be on the computer, that tells you I'm feeling somewhat good at the moment.
Later, my neck may be killing me with tension and I'm going to have to camp on the couch. Suck'ville.
And today is one of those crisp fall days that brings memories flooding back to me from this time. Having those great driving trips my family would do, riding in the suburbs or heading over the border to visit Wisconsin (which really is a lot like New England, in retrospect). Picking pumpkins or apples after taking a lovely breakfast at a roadside coffee shop (oh, it is so lovely!). Playing WoW as the seasons change somehow makes the game even better, I don't know why. And lastly, the time I packed up all my belonging in the Uhaul truck with boyfriend soon to be hubby from Chicago to drive cross county to my new home.
I don't want to be sick and look back and go, "Yeah, that was the time I had a tumor in my spine..." or whatever. I just want to go back to functional. Does that mean I have to live my life according to a prescription bottle? I'd rather not, but if I have to, so be it.
I want to live a good, healthy life with my husband, son and family. Yes, that includes having the cat in there too. The only good out of being sick has been this: it has completely upped my appreciation, love and gratitude towards those I love. I always felt blessed but having to depend on someone makes it even more so. That's why I've had a new found awakening towards people and being more sensitive to people's pains. We all need to take care of each other. We are one Tribe.
When I really feel crappy, I lay on the "I love you" 's a lot. I've always said the L word freely and meant it, so it's not that big of a step to articulate it more.
And a side note: I really wish my folks lived closer. I miss them terribly and all the craziness they wove around themselves as their own brand of 'normal'. I know they miss me and to have a Grandson they can't physically see, they need to get their butts out here. Pronto.
It's amazing what an illiness can do to a person. If this God's way of making me get it, I get it. I really do. Can we move on now? lol, like move on in a good kind of way?
Friday, September 3, 2010
Hurricane Earl, the Amish and Pumpkin Custard
So Hurricane Earl was a bit of a disappointment. I was expecting at least one gust of wind, but alas, perhaps it is a good thing that crisis was averted. I've always said I wouldn't mind being in a natural distaster, just as long as A) no one got hurt and B) my property doesn't get damaged. Other than that let'er rip.
So, as the rain tinkled down - and in some cases downpoured - I sat in the kitchen writing in my journal. Kiddo had fussed away today, and around 6pm we just had to give him a nap. In that time I began cooking in the kitchen. I had the cooking bug to bake with pumpkin.
Found an Amish pumpkin custard pie online, and voila! I had the ingredients on me.
Didn't have a crust, but I thought the custard might be well enough if it turned out all right.
Amish Pumpkin Custard Pie
So as I was listening to the rain outside and smelling the aromas of the pumpkin cooking, I wondered about the Amish and their lifestyle. They fascinate me. No electricity, living off the land, being self sufficient. Occasionally they sell their goods so that they can have currency to buy the things they need and those things are never frivolous. Women dress like women, men have those crazy ZZ Top beards and sideburns. They rise with the early morning sun, they rest when the night falls. They care little about the crap world (speculation) of politics, businesses and all the rat race mentality that seems to be woven into the fabric of modern day life.
I wondered what it would be like, to be Amish. No computers, no luxuries. No Warcraft (and at this point I wouldn't mind it going *poof*). The idea of taking the craziness out of life and focusing on survival, family and god seem ... strangely overwhelmingly appealing. I mean, shouldn't we be connecting to a higher power now that modern day ammenities pretty much give us all the time in the world, and shouldn't we be wanting to use that time more wisely? Spiritually? How many people have plans to actually pray and contemplate as if it's on the to-do list. "Hey Fred, what are you doing later?" I've rarely met someone who's answered, "I'll be meditating tonight. Then praying." or whatever. Point is, praying etc., doesn't seem like it's part of the fabric of society anymore. People look at you funny as if you're a fanatic if you do.
(BTW, I haven't done either, praying or meditating, I'm just rambling on about it. That's what I do)
Being sick, as I've told people, has brought me closer to my beliefs. Sure, I still have nagging theoretical arguements that I will never bring myself to believe, but the core of it all, I know that there is a comfort in just believing. The basic belief without an explanation of what it is you actually believe. It's the unspoken word, the feeling, the grace and the hope that yes, we are all connected ... connected to everything.
Maybe not having the distractions us modern day people hold are just that- it's pulling us away from something more important. I dunno, but being so tapped into the whole computer age thing, I'm not sure I could unplug. The yin and yang argue about this all time: real life vs someone's version of life.
Boy do I ramble on when I'm tired. Really need to catch up on some sleep. Maybe dream about being Amish. I do love a horse and buggy.
So, as the rain tinkled down - and in some cases downpoured - I sat in the kitchen writing in my journal. Kiddo had fussed away today, and around 6pm we just had to give him a nap. In that time I began cooking in the kitchen. I had the cooking bug to bake with pumpkin.
Found an Amish pumpkin custard pie online, and voila! I had the ingredients on me.
Didn't have a crust, but I thought the custard might be well enough if it turned out all right.
Amish Pumpkin Custard Pie
- 1 (9 inch) pie shell .... (I didn't have one so I just made the custard instead)
- 1 C pumpkin puree
- 3 eggs
- 1 Tb all purpose flour
- 1/4 C packed light brown sugar
- 1/2 C white sugar
- 1/2 tsp salt
- 1/3 ground nutmeg
- 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
- 2 C milk
- Optional: 2 Tb pumpkin Spices (add this, it's yummy)
So as I was listening to the rain outside and smelling the aromas of the pumpkin cooking, I wondered about the Amish and their lifestyle. They fascinate me. No electricity, living off the land, being self sufficient. Occasionally they sell their goods so that they can have currency to buy the things they need and those things are never frivolous. Women dress like women, men have those crazy ZZ Top beards and sideburns. They rise with the early morning sun, they rest when the night falls. They care little about the crap world (speculation) of politics, businesses and all the rat race mentality that seems to be woven into the fabric of modern day life.
I wondered what it would be like, to be Amish. No computers, no luxuries. No Warcraft (and at this point I wouldn't mind it going *poof*). The idea of taking the craziness out of life and focusing on survival, family and god seem ... strangely overwhelmingly appealing. I mean, shouldn't we be connecting to a higher power now that modern day ammenities pretty much give us all the time in the world, and shouldn't we be wanting to use that time more wisely? Spiritually? How many people have plans to actually pray and contemplate as if it's on the to-do list. "Hey Fred, what are you doing later?" I've rarely met someone who's answered, "I'll be meditating tonight. Then praying." or whatever. Point is, praying etc., doesn't seem like it's part of the fabric of society anymore. People look at you funny as if you're a fanatic if you do.
(BTW, I haven't done either, praying or meditating, I'm just rambling on about it. That's what I do)
Being sick, as I've told people, has brought me closer to my beliefs. Sure, I still have nagging theoretical arguements that I will never bring myself to believe, but the core of it all, I know that there is a comfort in just believing. The basic belief without an explanation of what it is you actually believe. It's the unspoken word, the feeling, the grace and the hope that yes, we are all connected ... connected to everything.
Maybe not having the distractions us modern day people hold are just that- it's pulling us away from something more important. I dunno, but being so tapped into the whole computer age thing, I'm not sure I could unplug. The yin and yang argue about this all time: real life vs someone's version of life.
Boy do I ramble on when I'm tired. Really need to catch up on some sleep. Maybe dream about being Amish. I do love a horse and buggy.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Just had my first MRI today, and it's just like a video game gone wrong. I'm not claustraphobic (thankfully) and after signing in, I was taken to the MRI room. What a nice space looking mechanical donut, was my first thought.
The lady gave me headphones and I laid down for my 20 min scan. Don't move, I was told, and even as the very low (OMG turn it up!) music played in the headphones, the rat-tat-tat and click, hummm, click, bzzzzt-hummmm was just crazy loud. In the first few minutes I imagined myself bolting and mumbling something about, "I can't do it, I just can't do it!" I pushed that image aside as the whole machine vibrated, in not a good way.
It could have been worse but I kept thinking Day of Defeat, glitching. Rapid fire with neverending supply for ammo from the AK47 (or whatever) just blasting away. No need to reload, ratatatatatatatat.... hummm. hat's exactly how it sounds.
I tried to find a happy place. I imagined the song that was playing in my headphones, "Red, Red Wine," with actually having a glass of red, red, wine (and talk about strange, I went to a store afterwards and the same song was playing, deja vu).
Ug. After 20 minutes of trying to blank out the noise, which didn't seem that long, I was all done. Won't know the results in a few days, but I'm just glad it's over and done with. I really didn't freak out much, it was more annoying than anything else, but it had to be done.
And now onto other things like Hurricane Earl. I keep thinking about the show "My Name is Earl" and hoping that we'll get to see/feel just a wee bit of it. We're so far inland that I don't think we're going to actually get any of it. You never know tho. We're prepared (sort of) anyways.
Time to hit the hay. 2am comes more quickly than I expect it when the house is asleep.
The lady gave me headphones and I laid down for my 20 min scan. Don't move, I was told, and even as the very low (OMG turn it up!) music played in the headphones, the rat-tat-tat and click, hummm, click, bzzzzt-hummmm was just crazy loud. In the first few minutes I imagined myself bolting and mumbling something about, "I can't do it, I just can't do it!" I pushed that image aside as the whole machine vibrated, in not a good way.
It could have been worse but I kept thinking Day of Defeat, glitching. Rapid fire with neverending supply for ammo from the AK47 (or whatever) just blasting away. No need to reload, ratatatatatatatat.... hummm. hat's exactly how it sounds.
I tried to find a happy place. I imagined the song that was playing in my headphones, "Red, Red Wine," with actually having a glass of red, red, wine (and talk about strange, I went to a store afterwards and the same song was playing, deja vu).
Ug. After 20 minutes of trying to blank out the noise, which didn't seem that long, I was all done. Won't know the results in a few days, but I'm just glad it's over and done with. I really didn't freak out much, it was more annoying than anything else, but it had to be done.
And now onto other things like Hurricane Earl. I keep thinking about the show "My Name is Earl" and hoping that we'll get to see/feel just a wee bit of it. We're so far inland that I don't think we're going to actually get any of it. You never know tho. We're prepared (sort of) anyways.
Time to hit the hay. 2am comes more quickly than I expect it when the house is asleep.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
4 Hrs Sleep, Need Energizer Bunny
Today was the cat's ultrasound (which I've been slowly nickel and diming our ways to pay for it so we don't break the bank), and only after getting four hours of sleep, it was time to wake up and get everyone ready.
Hubby is an early riser for work, and by 6:45am he basically nudged me awake and I was groggily up. I guess I was more worried about this day than I wanted to admit so I was a light sleeper and woke up without much fuss.
8-8:30am was the time the cat was supposed to be dropped off, and we got there just a little after 8am. This was good because the cat, poor dear, was mewing all the way to the vet. He doesn't like riding in cars one bit. Kiddo kept asking why was the cat meowing? After the 10th time of answering him, it was on to phase #2.
Getting inside the vet.
Check in was normal, but with a four year old bundle of engergy, he wouldn't sit still. Add to the fire and brimstone: an animal bled on the floor in the waiting area and no one cleaned it up. A dog in one of the exam rooms walked out with it's owner and a bit of poop from fido's backside landed on the floor. Yup. Looking good, eh?
Kiddo, a.k.a. Mr. Flailboy, drops to the ground and thinks that it's oh so funny to just lay down (which, irritates me to no end, floors are dirty! UG! GERMS!) and stare up at me. Luckily, we didn't have to wait long, maybe 10-20 minutes. I packed kiddo back up into the car and we came home.
Around noontime I get a call from the vet and guess what? After all this, the doc who does the ultrasound had to leave on an emergency and we had to... reschedule! I was so tired at this point and frustrated. Plus I had no intention of wrestling kiddo back into the car to pick up our cat. We waited until Daddy came home to do that.
Fussbucket (kiddo) started to really get cranky when we left, and by the time we reached the vet, kiddo had fallen asleep in the back of the car (yay! I was hoping!)
All in all, did a lot of chores around the apartment just because I had the time to do it since I was up earlier. Warcraft, sad to say, I've been hardly giving it a second thought. Bored? Maybe. I'm guessing I want to plug into real life more than I want to in a make believe game. I actually believe those sentences are a huge step for me other than the, "Yeah, yeah, I know I shouldn't spend so much time on WoW," and brush it aside and keep on playing. I'm actually feeling like I don't want to play WoW. This is huge.
Anyways, tired. Very, very tired, but this is Mommy time. Past midnight and I wanted to do some writing before my brain shuts down for sleep.
Side note: Hurricane Earl. Wooo. Starting to prepare stuff just in case it's going to get bad.
Hubby is an early riser for work, and by 6:45am he basically nudged me awake and I was groggily up. I guess I was more worried about this day than I wanted to admit so I was a light sleeper and woke up without much fuss.
8-8:30am was the time the cat was supposed to be dropped off, and we got there just a little after 8am. This was good because the cat, poor dear, was mewing all the way to the vet. He doesn't like riding in cars one bit. Kiddo kept asking why was the cat meowing? After the 10th time of answering him, it was on to phase #2.
Getting inside the vet.
Check in was normal, but with a four year old bundle of engergy, he wouldn't sit still. Add to the fire and brimstone: an animal bled on the floor in the waiting area and no one cleaned it up. A dog in one of the exam rooms walked out with it's owner and a bit of poop from fido's backside landed on the floor. Yup. Looking good, eh?
Kiddo, a.k.a. Mr. Flailboy, drops to the ground and thinks that it's oh so funny to just lay down (which, irritates me to no end, floors are dirty! UG! GERMS!) and stare up at me. Luckily, we didn't have to wait long, maybe 10-20 minutes. I packed kiddo back up into the car and we came home.
Around noontime I get a call from the vet and guess what? After all this, the doc who does the ultrasound had to leave on an emergency and we had to... reschedule! I was so tired at this point and frustrated. Plus I had no intention of wrestling kiddo back into the car to pick up our cat. We waited until Daddy came home to do that.
Fussbucket (kiddo) started to really get cranky when we left, and by the time we reached the vet, kiddo had fallen asleep in the back of the car (yay! I was hoping!)
All in all, did a lot of chores around the apartment just because I had the time to do it since I was up earlier. Warcraft, sad to say, I've been hardly giving it a second thought. Bored? Maybe. I'm guessing I want to plug into real life more than I want to in a make believe game. I actually believe those sentences are a huge step for me other than the, "Yeah, yeah, I know I shouldn't spend so much time on WoW," and brush it aside and keep on playing. I'm actually feeling like I don't want to play WoW. This is huge.
Anyways, tired. Very, very tired, but this is Mommy time. Past midnight and I wanted to do some writing before my brain shuts down for sleep.
Side note: Hurricane Earl. Wooo. Starting to prepare stuff just in case it's going to get bad.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)