I woke up at 5:30am with a splitting pain in the back of my head. I was completely wracked with pain thinking that I was having a stroke. I went to bed at 2am with a surfacing sinus pressure headache in the front part of my face. Hours later I thought I would have to be rushed to the ER, it was that painful. I know I have a bulging disk that takes pain to a whole new level, but this was so painful that it was even hard to breathe.
I limped downstairs to grab some ibuprophen and crawled back into bed. Hubby was just waking up to start getting ready for work. He was worried. I was worried. I seriously was this close to packing up kiddo, getting him to grandma's, and heading to the hospital.
Luckily after about forty minutes of excruciating pain, it started to subside. Hubby didn't have to call up work to take off time, we didn't have to rush to the ER and after a few hours sleep, I was 50% better.
I don't like this. I don't like feeling like my brain is going to explode. It's scarey. I go down a very morbid path. I wonder about missing my son growing up. I think about not being with my hubby. All of which terrifies me to no end.
I have one more month till I see the neurosurgeon for analysis. That's one long wait, its been over a month under my belt and one more to go. As my Sister-in-law's husband, a doctor, said to me: No neck surgery. I agree. I just want to know where I stand. Life long meds is my only options? Dude, then med me up. This morning I slipped from being functional to dangerously frightened.
Someone fix me. I used to worry that people would think that I was a hypocondriac (yes, I thought people would think that I was just "making a mountain over a molehill" that I wasn't really sick at all), that I would be rushed to the hospital for every little ache and pain. I guess I'm past that now because my body is rebelling, hardcore. This is not a drill. If this is a test, Lord help me. I am and forever will be on the wings of a prayer... and good health insurance.
No comments:
Post a Comment