Determination

I had high hopes on going out today. Fate of the universe conspired against me tho. I know it's a losing battle when it takes 2 1/2 hours for me, hubby and kiddo to get out the door. At one point, after a lot of farting around, I just called it. 

I guess when I'm upset I tend to clean. There was a sink full of dishes, crap all over the stove from hubby making a really good breakfast (a pile of egg shells here, crumbs there). Piles of plates from god only knows from where. Dishes tend to get hidden from me now and again, and when it's time to wash them they're always caked, dirty and screaming to be scrubbed. Suffice to say, I had my work cut out for me.  I dove into my work and cleaned... and mumbled.

My mumbling trickled over from yesterday and the little tiff hubby and I had. Well, hubby rather put his foot in his mouth quite nicely, causing a casual conversation to turn into something ridiculously irritating and blown out of proportion.  No sooner do I go upstairs to find some zen because frankly at that moment, I really couldn't stand to be in the same room with him, hubby instantly knew how incredibly insensitive and a jerk he was.  You know, the typical faire of "omg, I can't believe I was so horrible to you for no reason," kind of moment.  As I like to tell him, he doesn't go into his jerk mode half assed. He goes in with both cheeks exposed.

Mind you we don't have these tiffs very often. Maybe every other month, I don't really keep count, so I can't remember the last time he slid into the muck of being a jerk. And why is it (I mulled it over when I had a feminist moment of clarity) that when a man is acting like the biggest jerk in the world he's just having a bad day, but when a woman has a moment she's branded as a *itch forever? Well, that's just how I see things anyway.

Later I would tell him, "Be proud that when you put that last nail in your coffin you not only use a nail but you use glue, screws, and weld it shut." In other words, he's quite thorough. Let's just say, the couch was his bed that night. And I finished the novel by Wilkie Collins, "Lady in White." Excellent read, but just a bit lengthy at 600+ pages (mind you I didn't read this all in one night, I had about 100 pages left before any of this transpired).

So, oddly, I'm more productive when we have arguments. (shrugs). The next morning, the air was cleared (as it tends to normally do). With a round of welcomed hugs we moved on.  I tend to make jokes out of everything, so this was no exception.

Today I had the hope of getting out for the day and going to the NaNoWriMo get together with Uncle D and "Auntie" K, but then for the next 2 1/2 hours we played tag on getting dressed, fussying (kiddo), standing around waiting, fussying (kiddo), packing up laptop and stuff, fussying (kiddo)... 3 o'clock rolls around and I see that everyone is ready to go when all things just STOPPED.  Kiddo, I was seeing the warning signs, was not in the going out kind of mood. If he was sick I'd be all over the "Sorry, I can't go my youngin' is ill," but there wasn't any sign of him being sick other than being fussy. Constipated? That could have been it, but when I went to do dishes because at that point I knew the day was shot, I came back to find kiddo asleep in daddy's arms. So, chalk crankiness up to being in need of a nap time.

I took one deep breath, put on my shoes, gritted my teeth and went to the library across the street. Luckily they were open and I was able to crank out a few thousand words in the peace and quiet of the place. I was determined to get something done.

Seriously, 2 1/2 hours of trying to get out the freaking door? This weekend was starting to drive me nuts. To top it all off, electronics were whigging out on me. Blue screens of death on my main computer, a error dedicated to my RAM (oh honey aka hubby, I believe this is your department. HEP!), laptop losing writen data because (I can only assume) I touched a bunch of keys and some secret combination is the code for wiping out what I just wrote.  [enter insane laughter here].  Then, only to find the missing writen content when I use the undo button (for crying out loud, what was the key I pressed that actually made it all disappear? That's what I'd like to know so I don't have another heart attack again).

Friday... bad day, couldn't have been forseen.
Saturday... bad day, but salvagable.
Sunday... oh please, let it be better than the previous 2 days.

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Sunday... woke up to neighbors arguing at 5.30 in the morning. I think I need to find some sort of cleansing spell to ward our apartment to protect us from the aura of arguments because lately next door has been arguing a lot, slamming doors, and Hubby and I look at each other and say, "I love you!" emphatically.  Friday was our turn (except no slamming of doors and our argument was a simmer, not a cataclysm). Tag teaming apartment arguments? No thank you.  I like a peaceful, lovable, laughable bode of residence, tyvm. Kiddo, you hear that? Mommy likes peaceful places. Computers baaad. Real life is better. Repeat after me... real life is bet-ter. Failing at a lvl 1 video game isn't the end of the world, little one. Come on, let's go outside instead. That goes for you too Hubby. And I promise I'll take my own advice as well.